I admit I am saddened by the negative and hateful response toward my church following last week’s passage of Proposition 8 in California. I can understand why people are upset. For some, their lifestyle has been rejected by a majority of voters, for others, they may have friends or relatives who are gay. Still others have simply come to accept the gay lifestyle as acceptable and feel that to deny homosexuals the right to be married is to deny them their civil rights. Trying to put myself into other people’s shoes, I can understand why they feel that way. I cannot, however, change my mind about my position, but I do hope that some who now see Mormons as bigots and an enemy to progress can perhaps take a second to understand why we supported Proposition 8.
Firstly, I hope people will understand that the traditional family is the most important thing to a Mormon besides his faith in God. We believe that families can be together forever, and we do everything we can to strengthen our own families, and help teach others how to strengthen their family relationships so that they can enjoy the blessings of a strong and happy family. When God created the earth, he also created Adam and Eve, and married them for eternity if they would be faithful to each other and to God’s commandments. Then, instead of creating all of us individually and placing us one-by-one into the Garden of Eden, he gave Adam and Eve a commandment—to have a family. Thus the family became the fundamental unit of our human society. God is the one that set up the concept of the family, not the Mormons. We believe this principle and commandment remains in force today, and that God intends for His children to continue to be born into families. In 1995 in “The Family: A Proclamation to the World” a Prophet of God declared, “Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity.” This is an enormous part of God’s great plan—that His beloved children should be born into homes with a father and a mother who have committed themselves to each other through the marriage covenant and who love and rear their children in righteousness. Same-sex marriage has no part in that plan.
Feeling as strongly as we do about the history and eternal nature of families, we simply cannot ever support same-sex marriage and in fact, we must strongly oppose it. It is not because we hate gay people or wish to impose our religious views on the world. (Although, if the world of its own accord would accept Christ’s gospel, it would indeed be a much happier place). We do our best to be accepting of all people as we are all God’s children and deserve to be treated as such. But that does not mean that we must support or even simply allow same-sex marriage in the name of tolerance. Acceptance of people and acceptance of behavior are two separate issues, and something that many people have trouble differentiating.
I know that my words will convince very few if any who are passionately devoted to their cause. Only the Spirit of God can truly convert a person. But if I can shed a little light on a very touchy subject, and soften a few hearts, then my mission will have been achieved. I do not wish for there to be violent disagreements between the sides. Let us hope that when anger subsides, we will be able to find peace and understanding.
(For more details on the official stance of the LDS church on same-gender attraction, please refer to: http://newsroom.lds.org/ldsnewsroom/eng/public-issues/same-gender-attraction)
2 comments:
Hi Tabitha, I'm a gay woman who lives in San Francisco, and I hope that something positive eventually comes from this, in that we can all calmly discuss our feelings on the issue and learn from one another.
I've been with my partner for 22 years, and watched four of my dearest gay friends get married this summer in California.
All of them are wonderful, kind-hearted people who are close to their (non-gay) families, and believe it or not, some of us are even religious!
The morning I woke up after election day I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach. I kept reading about how much money the Mormon church had funnelled into California from Utah to take away my rights, and I just didn't understand.
I've worked with many Mormons in my time, and I can say they are some of the nicest people out there. But I and every gay person I know felt truly "hated," when we saw the lengths the Mormon church had gone to to take away our right to simply love another human being. I understand that for people like you this was not done as an intentionally hateful act, but it sure felt like one if you were on the receiving end of it.
In your post you say, "It is not because we hate gay people or wish to impose our religious views on the world."
Well, with all due respect, I don't get it. How is sending tens of millions of dollars to California to take away the right of human beings to marry not trying to impose your religious beliefs on others?
My paternal ancestors came to this country in 1630 to escape religious persecution, and it was always instilled in me that each of us was allowed freedom of religion. Nobody could be forced to follow a religion if they didn't want to, and anyone could practice any religion they chose.
So when I woke up last Tuesday and found out the Mormon Church had just spent $30 million dollars in a political campaign to change the constitution in my state, I was flabbergasted. Again, I don't understand how this isn't a case imposing religion on people.
Like you, I don't want to see any sort of mean-spiritness or violence erupt between the gay community and the Mormon church over this. The only way we can understand eachother is to try to tell eachother our own position.
But in the immediate aftermath of the election, we felt sucker-punched and frankly like the Mormon church hated us for reasons none of us could fathom.
The gay people in my circle are some of the kindest folks you will ever meet. Many of them volunteer, some are parents, all of us are devoted children to our aging parents, and we all work hard everyday so that we can enjoy our time with our families on the weekend.
When you cite “The Family: A Proclamation to the World” you state that God has a plan and same-sex marriage has no part in that plan.
Ouch!
I wish I had the words to describe to you how it feels for me to read that. It hurts me to think there are people who think I and my partner and my friends have no part in God's plan, and frankly I think it's a teensy bit arrogant to be so positive about what God thinks. I have never doubted that God loves me, and I have never doubted that God made me the way I am and that I'm perfectly okay with that. I'm good with God, and I dont' need saving! :-)
I would defend to the death your right to practice your religion, but I simply don't understand why the Mormon church wants to force its religion on the rest of us by taking away rights that were in our State's constitution. If the Mormon church can raise enough money to change the constitution in my state, so can any religion, right?
Would you want another religion to come to Utah and campaign to outlaw Mormon marriage?
I know I've rambled on too long, but like you, I'm sad to see the hatred being spewed by both sides in this argument.
I think the only way things will change for the better is if people like you and I communicate our positions and try to see even a little bit of the view from the other person's side.
I enjoyed this post. It was nice to hear a peaceful approach to the subject. And a Testimony at the same time. I feel as you do, and haven't posted much on the subject because I don't want backlash. ;)
By the way, this is Becca's sister Jenni. I lurk on your blog every so often! :) Thanks again for posting your feelings.
Post a Comment