Hiatus

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I have such a love-hate relationship with Facestalker ... er ... Facebook.  I LOVE that I can keep in touch with dear friends that it would ordinarily be really difficult to stay in touch with.  I mean, physical addresses change, phone numbers change, email addresses go defunct, and blogs become private (and the only way to ask for an invite is through that defunct email address I have).  But Facebook is constant, or has been since forever. Or maybe just 8 years.  Whatever.  In any case, it seems like EVERYONE in the world is on Facebook so it's a really easy and convenient way to keep in touch.

But that's the only thing I like about Facebook.

I'm disgusted that you have to weave your way through multiple settings just so that your stuff stays "private".  I disapprove of seeing what my friends are posting on their friends' walls and photo albums because they don't know how or don't care to make their own stuff "private".  I strongly dislike that people get offended when you delete them as "friends".  I hate that I feel bad when I don't accept people as "friends".  I've grown to loathe reading through drivel just to find the interesting stuff that I really care about.  I'm annoyed that Facebook directs me to other pages where I waste even more time.  Most of all, I hated that I would check Facebook multiple times a day just because I was procrastinating doing the dishes or starting dinner.  Yes, "hated" ... past tense.  I deactivated my Facebook account.  I've been Facebook free now for 12 days and counting.  It's not my intention to permanently delete my Facebook account.  After all, there are certain people that I can only contact via Facebook.  But even I am surprised at the freedom I have felt in the past 12 days, and truthfully there is a lot less dawdling going on.  But for now, Facebook, I need a break.  You get to sit in the backseat while I drive for a bit.  But if I get to like this freedom too much, you may end up stuffed in the trunk ... rolled in a rug ...

The curse of the croup

A couple of weeks ago we had to take Lydia to the emergency room for the first time.  She'd woken up that morning with a fever which wouldn't stay under control even with Ibuprofen.  Then as the day progressed, she got crankier and crankier and stopped eating or drinking around midday.  She didn't nap and by 7pm that night she was panting and drooling incessantly because she refused to swallow her own saliva.  She looked absolutely miserable.  I'd never seen any sickness progress that quickly and I knew then that it was time to take our first trip to the emergency room.  Grandpa Welch came over and together he and Ben gave Lydia a Priesthood blessing before we went to the hospital.  Everyone at the hospital was very nice and it wasn't very long before she was diagnosed with croup ... AGAIN.  I've lost track of how many times she's had croup.  We'd been able to ease her symptoms when she first started having problems, but the last 3 times have required medical intervention and each time was progressively worse.  I will probably have to ask the Pediatrician if we can have a nebulizer or something because this is clearly not going away any time soon.  In any case, within 30 minutes of receiving a steroid and then a breathing treatment, our little princess was breathing much easier and had fallen asleep in my arms.  When the nurse came to check on her, she woke up and for the next two hours she bounced around the room in her hospital gown without a care in the world until they discharged us shortly before midnight.  We came home and one exhausted Lydia and two very relieved parents fell into bed and went to sleep almost immediately.

A Child's Prayer

Recently I've been feeling so discouraged about all the things in the world that brings so much sadness: lies, pornography, violence, immorality, abuse, political corruption, greed, etc.  In a way, I've sort-of given up: "nothing's going to change until the Second Coming so that's what I'm praying for," has been my mantra.  And yet, I've been humbled by some recent talks and testimonies, and I've felt impressed that if the Lord hasn't given up on us, then I shouldn't give up either.  There are still plenty of good people, even if it seems like the adversary continues to "one-up" the faithful.

So I continue to do the best that I can and realize that even if I can't change THE world, I can change MY world.  I can be a better wife, a better mother, a better visiting teacher, a better friend.  I can be speak more kindly, have more grace, and exhibit more charity.  I can pray more, study the scriptures more, and minister more in my church callings. And I can teach my child, the rising generation, how to love God and love her neighbor.

Each night we read scriptures as a family, have family prayer, and then Lydia and I pray together before she gets in her bed.  I've been trying to encourage her to say her own prayers, and tonight I decided to try fill-in-the-blank.

Me: Dear Heavenly ...

Lydia: Father; 

Me: We thank Thee for this ...

Lydia: food ...

Me: Thank Thee for ...

Lydia: food ...

Me: Thank Thee for Mommy and ...

Lydia: Daddy,

Me: Thank Thee for Grandma and ...

Lydia: Grandpa ... and Grandma,

Me: Thank Thee for ...

Lydia: food.

Me: In the name of ....

Lydia:  Jesus ... Christ ... amen.

I love that my daughter, who isn't even two, knows how to pray.  She may not be able to do it by herself, but I guarantee that she knows who we are talking to and what we are doing.  It's moments like this that give me hope for the world: hope that these children that we are raising will grow up and fix the things that their parents and grandparents screwed up; hope that when the Lord does come again, the earth will not be "utterly wasted."  Perhaps most of all, it gives me hope that while I am a far cry from motherhood perfection, I am doing my best and that is enough.  There is still good in the world, and it doesn't matter that Satan has won so many victories.  When all is said and done, he will weep and wail and gnash his (albeit non-existent) teeth, because the Master will reclaim his own.  In the end, God will play the trump card, and oh what a mighty trump card it is.

Ring Around the Dosie ... and other quintessential toddler songs

Lydia LOVES music.  I guess that comes from her musical parents who sing and play piano ALL the time.   Her current repertoire includes: "Ring Around the Dosie", "ABC's", "Tinkle Tinkle Little Star", "Row Row Row Boat", and "Jesus Wants Me For a SunBEEP".  I get an especially huge kick out of "Jesus Wants Me for a SunBEEP".  The actual words, if you don't know, are "Jesus Wants Me for a Sunbeam", but for some reason she thought I was saying "Sun ... BEEP", and now I don't bother to correct her because what else would shameless parents have to chuckle at if not for their hapless toddlers?

Seriously though, this girl is growing so much, walking around in high-heeled play shoes, taking care of her stuffed animals and baby dolls and giving the cat unrequited affection.  She is one of the most gentle children I've ever seen, except that when she thinks I am displeased with her, she starts smacking herself on the head.  I HATE when she does this and I cannot figure out why she does it.  Initially I would tell her not to do it (did she listen, NO), then I started telling her to be soft with herself (so then she would stroke her face for a second and go back to hitting).  Now I just ignore the behavior it because I figure what she is after is attention, and so she stops after a few times now.  Still, it's bizarre and I have to wonder as a parent if I did something horribly wrong somewhere along to way to be raising a child with such a taste for inflicting self pain?  Hopefully she'll grow out of it ...

We are also working a little more on potty training, now.  Gradually, but we're working on it.  She LOVES to sit on the potty, especially since I started offered watching "videos" on my phone while she sits.  Anytime I even mention the word potty she responds immediately with "veed-yo??".  She would sit there all day and watch videos, if I let her, but I've had to start limiting our potty-youtube viewing sessions to 10 minutes max each time.  I don't want her brain to turn to mush, after all.  She pees in the potty almost every time after nap, if I can get her out of bed as soon as she wakes up, and she goes about half of the time right before her bath.  Once she gets those two down, we may move to full-on potty training.

And ... I'm so proud of my hubby! This week he passed the second half of his A+ certification test and so he is now fully A+ certified and looking for a job!  Hooray!!  He's been working so hard for the last 3 months, studying and learning to be able to take the test.  He's not sure what he wants to do in the IT field, but A+ certification can get you an entry level tech support job and hopefully he will be able to figure out a more specialized route as he gets some experience.  I know he is relieved to have the test behind him, and he is looking forward to working again.

As for me, I am learning how to juggle.  I never feel like I've got things under control any more, it's fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants for me.  I'm not sure why that is the case, but I think it's all the stuff I have floating around in my brain between being a MOM, my husband being unemployed, and dealing with things related to being Primary President.  Truthfully, now that we have church in the AM, Sunday has become my favorite day of the week.  It's the only day when I can truly rest my brain and focus on my calling and my family (not necessarily in that order).  On Sunday I don't feel like I have to go running off to the store or the gym or do laundry, clean my house, etc. etc.  I'm starting to understand why the Lord made the Sabbath and why he asked us to refrain from doing certain things on that day.  We NEED it!!  We need it more than we need to check things off our to-do list, anyway.  I'm amazed at the clarity that comes when we slow down and take time to feel instead of rushing through and rushing on with life.  Life was meant to be enjoyed, and I'm trying to do that, once step at a time.