Catching up ...

Ack! I'm officially a blog truant. I can't believe that I've let myself lapse into the very very occasional update. Keeping a record of my life is very important to me. I've had a journal of some type since I was 9 years old and I'm not going to quit now! In very many ways, my blog is my journal, albeit a very public journal. So here goes ... Fasten your seatbelts ladies and gentlemen and get ready for a very fast recap of the last few months!

Firstly, I'll say that I can't BELIEVE how fast my little girls are growing. Clara is 6 1/2 months and she is thiiiiiiiiiis close to crawling. She wants it sooo bad and I think it won't be but another couple of weeks and I won't be able to put her in one place and expect her to stay put. *Sigh* She absolutely idolizes her big sister and Lydia is really loving, most of the time. Lydia has also finally gotten used to having someone else steal mommy's attention from time to time. THAT was quite the adjustment, let me tell you. She still exhibits classic jealous behavior from time to time, i.e. stating that she wanted a toy (which she's been completely ignoring) the minute I offer it to baby sister. And she has this tendency to "burp" Clara whenever she gets the notion to whack her on the back so I have to watch her closely. But sometimes when I'm just about to get after Lydia for doing something she oughtn't, I hear Clara just laughing and giggling so it must not be bothering her that much.

Clara is on a really great schedule now, sleeping 12 hours continuously at night and napping twice during the day. As difficult a little sleeper as she was at the beginning, she's settled down, rather, been forced coaxed (because I was fed up) into a really great routine. Now, if only I could get to bed before 1am I'd be getting some really great sleep! Except that my sweet little Lydia has started waking up before 7am, presumably because there's too many things to do and she has no time for sleep. And here I was thinking that she was going to be my night owl. Well, actually she is. Most nights she doesn't get to sleep before 9 or 10, even though I try to have her in bed by 8:30 (for the sake of my sanity). But, she still naps in the afternoon which is my saving grace right now ... uhm ... because of my 1am bedtime? That means that the girls take tandem naps! I know, I'm so spoiled. I wasn't trying to pretend otherwise! I suppose this can only last so long so I'll take advantage of it while I can.

Lydia ... well, let's just say I wasn't sure I was going to survive the "trying threes". But, she's gotten a lot better over the last couple of months. I've tried really hard to give her some mommy and me time, and specifically what's worked really well is changing up the bedtime routine so that for at least 5-10 minutes right after prayers and right before she goes to sleep, we snuggle in her bed and tell each other stories. She always asks me to tell her stories about "when we made banana cake," or, "when we went to Aldi," so it's not like they are anything special, but they are stories about her and I think that's why she likes them so much. Anyway, bedtime has become a very sweet and special time for both me and her and I noticed a pretty big change in her behavior once I started this bedtime routine. For that matter I've noticed a pretty big change in my own sanity and I find myself getting less frustrated with my daughter all because of this one simple routine. It's been a mini miracle.

Well, speaking of bedtime routine, I'm going to have to cut this a little short. Ben is starting seminary tomorrow and the 1am bedtime simply will not do any longer for either of us.

But peas taste so much better with toes!

You sit on my changing table cat and I will get you

Wearing Uncle Matthew's fancy hat

Playing in the pool--this lasted all of about 5 seconds

Standing on the Shoulders of Giants

"If I have seen farther it is by standing on the shoulders of giants"--Isaac Newton.

David N. Owens (7/22/1950-6/11/2013)

I want to write this post now, before my experiences surrounding my father's death fade any more from my mind. I was blessed to be home when my father passed, in fact, all of us siblings were. My dad had taken a turn for the worse and my mom flew us all home for the weekend to say goodbye to him. At the time, we didn't realize that the 4 days we had intended to stay would turn into 8 and that we would be there for his funeral. Sometimes Heavenly Father works things out for the best, and this was one of those cases.

The last 8 months of my father's life were very difficult for him, my mother, and my nurse-sister who was constantly having to stage medical interventions. After a 7-year battle with prostate cancer, the end came slowly and quickly, all at the same time. I say slowly, because we all watched helplessly as my dad fought endlessly increasing pain, broken hips, cancerous bone lesions, skull lesions, and infections. Nothing the doctors tried seemed to make him any better at all. Nothing eased his pain and suffering for more than a few weeks. From the time I was up there in April until right before his death he went from chatting about engineering problems with my brother and being able to hold his baby granddaughter to not being able to lift his arms or even say very many words. He didn't even answer the phone for several weeks before his death. It was painful to watch his body grow weak; to watch him become a shadow of the person he once was.

The day he died, my older brother Jonathan and I were headed back up to the airport to leave to return to Atlanta. We were almost there when we got a phone call from my mom saying that my dad had become unresponsive. Upon arrival at the airport and after some consideration we cancelled our flights and returned to the NYS Veterans' Home where my dad had been moved only 5 days before. By the time we got there, he had already passed. My sister Samantha and my brother Matthew had arrived there just a few minutes before us. My brother Jacob, my mom, and a family friend had been there when my dad took his final breath and Jacob had closed my dad's eyes. Someone from the Veterans' Home had brought in a music player hooked up to the LDS Hymns of Worship channel on Pandora. For three hours we sat with my my dad's body, listening to the beautiful calming music of our faith. I held my dad's hand, and slipped my fingers between his arm and the side of his body to feel the warmth that lingered there. I combed his hair with my fingers and told him that I loved him. It was a beautiful experience, and nothing like what I had imagined it would be. I expected to feel immense grief and sadness, but what I felt instead was relief. I later realized that this was because I had already been grieving for months--feeling sorrow for his pain and dreading his death. I almost had nothing left to mourn. I was grateful that, despite the hole that will forever exist in my heart, he was no longer suffering. I wouldn't wish him back here for one more day if he had to suffer like that. 

The same family friend that was present when my dad passed gave a beautiful eulogy at the funeral. My dad was such a great man. He was one of the kindest most patient men you would ever meet. I remember walking with him one day down a road where there was a big empty plot of land, and he shared with me how he wished he could buy that piece of land and build a home for all the women and children of the world that had no one to take care of them. That was just how my dad was. He would stop to help anyone on the side of the road whose car was broken down. His favorite assignment in church was to serve in the nursery because he loved all little children with such a tenderness that I have never seen equaled in another individual. He chose his words very carefully, and showered his children with affection. He was a great father and I wish all children could have had a father like mine. At the end of the eulogy, my father's friend shared that after considering my dad's life, he was no longer personally concerned with living a "long" life, but rather he wanted to live a "good" life. I appreciated that sentiment so much as I think my dad really tried to be the best person he could be and do as much good as possible.

As I consider my father's legacy, I too want to live a "good" life. I want to be good, kind, and patient because that is what my father, through his example, taught me to be. I want to help others and love children with a compassion second only to Jesus Christ. Thinking about all I have learned from my dad, I am reminded of Isaac Newton's famous quote about being able to see further by virtue of "standing on the shoulders of giants". To me, my dad was one of these "giants" and I can only hope that one day I can be good enough to stand on his shoulders.

I love you, dad.

Till we meet again ...

Lydia Turns Three!

My little girl turned THREE last month. I can't believe it. Where does the time go? People keep telling me that before I know it my kids will become teenagers and you know what, I think I'm starting to believe them. We had a couple of different birthday celebrations, one on her actual birthday with us and her aunt and cousins, then another one on the following Saturday with a couple of friends. Lydia just doesn't do big parties so we kept it to just a few families in our ward. I made a Cinderella cake for that party and I'm pretty happy with how it turned out. I bought a cake pick for the top and I was right to be worried about getting the frosting colors to match with the cake pick. They didn't. But, I think they coordinated well enough. I actually attempted fondant for the first time, marshmallow fondant. It was pretty easy, if a little messy, and it was fun to make the textured skirt with the fondant as opposed to trying to do it with buttercream.

Trip to New York

Now that we've sorted out bedtimes (HALLELUJAH!!) I'm finding that I have a bit more time in the evenings. This is wonderful because instead of putting kids to bed, finishing the dishes and then sending myself to bed, I'm finding that I have some time to do the things that I want after the kids go to bed.

Back at the beginning of April, we took a trip up to New York to visit my family. To put it bluntly, my dad is dying of cancer. Since January he's been living mostly in the hospital, and currently he is in a nursing home attempting rehab but as he is not making progress, it's unlikely he will be able to stay there for much longer--at least as a rehab patient. If you've never watched someone who is sick deteriorate over a period of time--it's horrible. I was shocked when I saw my dad in April, and it had only been 6 months since I had seen him. Now I think it's unlikely he will even survive another 6 months. I guess the benefit is that I've had some time to deal with this fact, although, I don't know if you can ever really be prepared to lose a parent. Thank goodness for my faith in the Atonement, the Priesthood, and Temples.

The trip was long (15 hours) and I was really nervous about driving with the kids, so we decided to leave in the early afternoon and drive all night. Clara had trouble during the daytime driving, and Lydia couldn't really sleep in her carseat so she had trouble at night. But we made it, in one piece, and it really wasn't that bad. When we have to do it again, that's probably how we'll go.

Here's a few photo collages that I made of our trip:

Grandpa meeting Clara for the first time:

We also stopped in and saw my Grandma (dad's mom) at the nursing home where she lives. My cousin's wife and their little girl were there too and it was so fun getting to see them! Then we stopped by Friendly's Restaurant on the way home. Friendly's was always such a treat growing up and the best part is the ice cream! Lydia enjoyed her monster sundae.

One of the days we were up there, we took a day trip to Palmyra which is the site of the restoration of our church. We really enjoyed walking around the visitor's centers, and especially through the Sacred Grove. It was a beautiful day. We also got to walk around the temple which was extra special because Ben and I were married there almost 5 years ago. We will celebrate our anniversary in July. Crazy!

We also spent some time just hanging out. Uncle Matthew really enjoyed holding Clara and Uncle Jacob even got in on the kid action, showing Lydia how to work the marble track :) We also spent a pleasant hour or so at the park where my mom showed Lydia the ins and outs of the sandbox. Lydia was sure hesitant to climb in because she didn't want to get dirty. She's funny like that.

Sooner that we would have liked, it was time to head home. Once again we left early afternoon and decided that we would make a stop at Hershey and take their free chocolate tour. It was a nice break, it was free, AND they gave you a free mini Hershey bar after the tour. Lydia loved riding around and seeing how they make chocolate. Yum! We also drove through some CRAZY fog. There were times that I couldn't even see the car in front of me and I couldn't help but think "I am going 65 miles an hour and if anything jumps out in front of me I will never stop in time!" Talk about travelling by faith ...

We arrived home around 9am the next morning and everyone was sleep deprived enough that we threw the kids in bed and everyone slept until noon!

I'm so glad we were able to make the trip. I don't know if my dad will get to see my children again in this life. One of the hardest things about losing my dad is thinking about my kids never really knowing my him. I've always wanted my kids to know their grandparents. But, we're extremely blessed to have Ben's parents so close and so involved with our children. I am definitely grateful for that. Truly nothing is more important than family.

No time for blogging ...

If you're wondering why I haven't been blogging much lately, it's not just the blogging. I also haven't been doing any exercising, reading, sewing, crafting or hobbying in general.

My life right now is: watching dishes pile up in my sink, picking up clutter, nagging my stubborn 3-year-old then waiting while she continues to dig in her heels, teaching manners, cooking dinner, bathing children, putting them down for naps, picking up more clutter, Me: Primary President, Ben: Early Morning Seminary Teacher (THREE MORE WEEKS!!!), saving the cat from too much "loving", answering ENDLESS questions from the 3-year-old, nursing the baby, setting food in front of the 3-year-old, watching the 3-year old dance around instead of sitting down to eat, trying to get caught up on my 12-week Book of Mormon reading challenge, two straight hours of rocking rocking rocking and patting the baby who's having a hard time getting to sleep  ...

... but then there's also: snuggling with my sweet Clara, lots of baby giggles, reading books to Lydia, making the Princess figurines "talk" for her, taking walks, hearing "I love you so much mama" from sweet little girl lips, the smell of a freshly bathed Clara, laughing and dancing with Lydia, listening to her say her prayers, loving (nearly) every minute of it.

Being a mother is simultaneously the most exhausting and most rewarding thing I've ever done. But they say the most rewarding things in life usually require the most work.

Which reminds me ...

It's time to wake Lydia up from her nap ... and go make dinner :)

Easter 2013

Having children just makes holidays so much more fun. This year for Easter we ...

decorated eggs with Lydia ...

went on an Easter Egg hunt with friends ...

had a visit from the Easter Bunny ...

and sported bright new dresses to church!

A couple of weeks ago we dedicated our Family Home Evening to talking about the true meaning of Easter and the Resurrection of our Savior. In an effort to stay focused on the true meaning of Easter while enjoying the more secular traditions, we frequently reminded Lydia that even though we were having fun with all these things, the real reason we celebrate Easter is because of Jesus. I guess we did a pretty good job of teaching her because as we were getting ready to leave the Easter Egg Hunt/Party yesterday, she looked at me and very seriously said, "Jesus didn't come, Mom." Oh that sweet girl. She melts my heart all to pieces.

A Family of Four

Sooooo ... blogging has been the absolute last thing on my to-do list lately. It's sitting right in front of "clean my house", so maybe tomorrow I can actually make a dent in that particular area ...

I've heard all sorts of opinions on which is most difficult: going from 1 kid to 2, or from 2 kids to 3. For me, so far, going from 1 to 2 has been quite an adjustment! Of course, it hasn't helped that since Clara was born (7 1/2 weeks ago) until now, we haven't gone more than 2 days without someone in the house being sick. Another factor is that Clara is taking a long time to adjusting to sleeping at nighttime. Lydia was sleeping through the night at 2 weeks. (I know, right??) Clara ... not so much.  Add in Ben teaching seminary and I am one tired momma.  But I'm getting used to having less sleep and Clara is finally getting onto a schedule and starting to sleep longer stretches at night ... sometimes.  If only I could get her to go back to sleep quickly once she is done eating. Sometimes she's up for an hour or more, although that has become less frequent as well. We've had to set up a baby swing in our already crowded bedroom so if she fusses for longer than a few minutes I just put her in the swing instead of her bed. That keeps her calm until she goes back to sleep and allows me to go back to sleep sooner. So, we're finding ways to manage our difficult little sleeper!

Lydia is adjusting well also. She had a couple of whiny days where I could tell she was a little jealous of all the attention that Clara was getting but she's completely over that now. Instead she is my biggest helper. One of the most incredible things is when she anticipates what I might need or comes up with ways to help on her own and just does it. She is getting so mature. It's hard to believe she'll be 3 next month.

Pictures for Grandma

A few of Clara's first pictures, per request by Grandma :)

Clara's Birth Story--My VBAC Success

Ultimately, Clara's birth story starts long ago, actually about 10 days before her older sister, Lydia, was born.  Ten days before Lydia's birth, I had an ultrasound in which the tech estimated that Lydia was already about 10 lb. 2 oz. In actuality, she was nowhere near that as 10 days later she was 9 lbs. 4 oz.  Nevertheless, standard OB procedure nowadays when they suspect a large baby is to STRONGLY recommend that the mother schedule a c-section; concerns about shoulder dystocia (shoulders getting stuck during birth), etc.  Despite the OB's objections, I was adamant that I wanted to try for a vaginal delivery. Ten days later when my water broke, I went to the hospital and over the course of 11 hours, dilated to 6 cm and stalled there for 4 hours.  Throughout my whole labor, I NEVER felt encouraged by the doctor in my efforts to deliver vaginally.  In fact, I never felt truly supported until I finally agreed to the c-section.

After Lydia's birth, I decided I didn't want to have a birth experience like that again and so I began an internet search for answers and options.  What I found was the International Cesarean Awareness Network, more affectionately known as "ICAN".  Now, let me stop here for a moment and say that I am not generally opposed to c-sections in any way.  It is a blessing we have c-sections available in our society as some babies and women would die in childbirth if not for this amazing procedure.  But I was just never sure that I fell into that category of truly needing a c-section. Also, my c-section birth experience was somewhat emotionally traumatic, and because I labored so long before the surgery, the recovery was the terrible.  For months (over a year) I struggled with feelings of failure and then guilt for being depressed over a procedure that had given me such a wonderful gift: my beautiful daughter Lydia.  It was very emotionally draining.

It was on the ICAN website though, that I found support and hope.  I read stories of other moms who'd had c-sections with their first children, or even first and second children (some even had 3 cesareans before VBAC!) and then went on to have a VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean).  I read about the risks, and I read about some who had failed in their attempts to VBAC.  And I found Dr. Joseph Tate, who appeared to be a miracle worker when it came to delivering VBAC patients. Weighing all my options, I decided that when I got pregnant again, I would drive the 45 minutes to Dr. Tate's office and that he would deliver my baby, VBAC if possible!  Walking into Dr. Tate's office for my first appointment after I found out I was pregnant with Clara was a bit surreal.  I had imagined that moment for nearly 2 years!  It was finally here and within 9 months, we would find out if I could achieve my goal of VBAC.

Now, fast forward to Thursday of last week ... one day past my due date ...

I'd had trouble getting to sleep that night, as per usual, and ended up reading a book until about 1am.  Finally I put down my book and drifted off only to be awakened at 3:30am with definitely painful contractions going on.  I pulled out my contraction timer app on my phone (handy things, those smart phones) and started timing.  My contractions were lasting about a minute and were about 4 minutes apart.  After an hour of timing contractions, they were continuing to average 1 minute long, and just under 4 minutes from start to start.  I woke my husband up and said it's time to call Dr. Tate because we were supposed to call him when my contractions were 6-8 minutes apart but either that never happened or I slept through it! When we called the  Doc he told us to head down to the hospital and get checked out. It took a while to get everything together because although I was packed for the hospital I still had a few things to grab and not much time in between contractions to grab it.  My contractions were already so painful that I had to lie down on my side and really focus on relaxing while they were coming.  I used this method (my Bradley Method training) and found the contractions to be manageable, even though they were painful.  Grandma and Grandpa showed up to stay until Lydia woke up and Ben and I finally got out the door and headed to the hospital around 5:30am.  Luckily we just beat the start of rush hour traffic.  On the 50 minute drive to the hospital in downtown Atlanta, I listened to a Childbirth Hypnosis CD which is just deep relaxation for childbirth.  I was worried about how I would manage the drive but it was actually not too bad.  We got in to the maternity ward around 7:00am and they checked my cervix--3 1/2 cm.  Not too bad, I thought, for  3 1/2 hours of labor.  I really wanted to labor without the epidural for as long as possible.  I had brought a birthing ball but found that I wasn't comfortable on that at all.  I'd studied the Bradley Method and that worked pretty well but I could only deal with some of the more painful contractions standing up and doing a kind-of slow-dance, hips swaying side to side maneuver with Ben supporting me.  A few hours in I decided to try some IV medicine to take the edge off of the pain.  Well, that worked for about 30 minutes and then it wore off and you can only have it every 2 hours. Around 11am they checked my cervix again and I was very disappointed to discover that I had only progressed another half a centimeter in 4 hours.  I weighed my options.  I was experiencing some contractions that I just could not relax through.  Most of my contractions were still manageable for me, but a few were just plain too much and I could not take my mind off the pain.  I knew that my contractions would probably intensify before the end and there was a chance that my doctor would put my on a little pitocin since my labor was going so slow.  I decided that if it was going to be several more hours, I wanted the epidural which I ended up getting around 11:30.  I felt satisfied that I'd managed my labor pain for 8 hours to 4 cm.  I was happy with that and I still don't regret getting the epidural!

Much to my surprise, I continued to progress at the same rate after getting the epidural.  I'd been a little worried about that after my labor with Lydia.  At a few minutes after 2:00pm I felt a pop and a gush and knew my water had broken.  Towards the end of the afternoon, I started to develop a slight fever and the baby's heart rate jumped a bit now and then which apparently is an indicator of possible infection. Dr. Tate decided to give me a small dose of pitocin to see if we could speed up the dilation and get the baby delivered.  Finally about 8:30pm I was fully dilated and 100% effaced.  It surprised me that it had taken my entire labor to become fully effaced.  I thought that was normally the first thing to happen but I guess I was wrong! The Doc was still worried about the possible infection and so he decided to let me push the baby down for a while and then speed up the delivery with forceps. Also, they were trying to turn her head a bit because she was trying to come out forehead first instead of crown first. I don't remember whether they were able to turn her before the forceps or after. I started pushing at 8:30 and pushed pretty effectively (thanks again to my Bradley training) for 45 minutes from a -1 station to a +3 (I think) then the Doctor got the forceps in place and we gave it another couple of pushes and with the help of the forceps her head was out!  One more push for the shoulders and she was totally out and they placed her on my belly. Wow. Just wow. I remember thinking through this whole labor that I never wanted to do it ever again!  We were definitely stopping with two kids! Then they placed Clara on me and I thought, "I am definitely doing this again!  Awesome!"  Then, after the placenta was delivered they started sewing me up and I thought "Oh no, definitely NEVER doing this again".  I had torn pretty badly (3rd degree lacerations--if you can imagine it, yes, I tore that way) so it took them an hour to sew me up. In actuality, the reason why it took so long to sew me up was because I delivered at a University Hospital so in addition to the doctor there was a female resident and a male medical student assisting with the delivery and the doctor was teaching while the resident was sewing me up. Truthfully I had to laugh inwardly at the medical student. He looked SO uncomfortable with the whole thing. I'm sure this was probably the first delivery he had witnessed. And what an exciting delivery! Plus, he was responsible for holding my right leg up while I was resting in between pushes and the nurse was occupied. I'm still chuckling thinking of the look on his face! I have to wonder if he went home and thought, "what am I doing in the medical field?"

The biggest surprise of the night though, was that Clara was actually smaller than her sister, only 8 lbs. 15 oz.  Still a big baby, but mercifully smaller. And she didn't get stuck that I know of, anyway. It took us another full day before we could name her--nothing that we had considered seemed right. Finally we decided to pray about it and we both felt right about "Clara", a name which had gone onto the list only about a week or so earlier and we chose the middle name of "Ruth" after Ben's paternal grandmother. Neither of us could easily recall her name for a few days but we're all adjusted now--if I could just stop calling her Lydia ;)

I'm so grateful for this experience and so immensely grateful I was successful with the VBAC. I think, honestly, that my doctor had more faith in me and my abilities than I had in myself. There were many times when I seriously doubted that this birth would go as I hoped. But Doctor Tate does VBACs all the time so it's not surprising that he just took it as par for the course. I prayed a LOT the last month I was pregnant that I would feel peace over this birth, no matter what the outcome, and I did.

Another surprising result of my VBAC was the perspective that it gave me on Lydia's birth. I learned a few things this time, some tangible, some not, that have led me to understand that Lydia came the way she needed to come. When Lydia was born, her umbilical cord was wrapped so tightly around her neck that it had to be cut before she could be delivered which is very unusual for a c-section. It's quite possible that we might not have the same little Lydia without the c-section. Everything happens for a reason. I'm recovering quite well and now just over a week after the delivery I feel pretty much normal, despite how difficult the delivery was. We are so in love with little Clara and very grateful that she has joined our family. I'm SO glad I tried for the VBAC. It's not the right choice for everyone and there are risks, but it was definitely the right choice for me.

Clara Ruth Welch

Born 1/24/2013 9:28pm

8 lbs. 15 oz.   20.5 inches

Christmas Day 2012

I know, I know, it's been almost a month since Christmas.  BUT, this is the story of my life lately: trying to get caught up on stuff! I figured I'd better get these memories down BEFORE Baby Girl comes, which I sincerely hope is VERY soon.

This year Christmas was all about the Princesses.  Pretty much everything Lydia got for Christmas was related to Disney Princesses.  I found some amazing deals on Amazon so it all worked out.

Checking out the Sleeping Beauty Magnetic Paper Doll Set

Opening a Disney Princess Collection Storybook

The cat checking out the rest of the cookie that Santa didn't eat.

Ben and I kept it pretty low-key with our own presents.  I got him an electric razor (fantastic deal on Amazon, thank you!!) which is something he's been eyeing for a while.  He got me several things, overspending the budget I gave him, (as per usual) but I think I'm most excited about the Roku because now we can watch our church's General Conference at home on our TV instead of having to go elsewhere all the time or try to hear it coming from the small speakers on the laptop.  With a new baby on the way, this is something I am really looking forward to!

After presents and breakfast, we got ready for the day and headed over to Ben's parents' house for lunch/dinner.  I had started coming down with a cold and so I wasn't really feeling very well.  We didn't stay much past dessert, but we invited Ben's parents back over (they'd already come over to watch Lydia open presents) after Lydia went to bed to play some games.  All in all, it was a very nice, laid back Christmas!

Christmas Traditions

Christmas was SO much fun this year.  It is a such a blast having a child at an age where they can really get excited about everything that's going on.  We started a few new traditions this year that I hope we will continue for a long time!

Gingerbread Houses
Actually, this has been a tradition for the last several years but we've always waited for my parents to come from New York to make them.  The last couple of years my parents haven't been able to come due to my dad's health, but we've made gingerbread houses with my brother's kids anyhow.  This year I didn't actually bake gingerbread because, let's face it, I didn't have the energy for it!  But being the skinflint that I am and not wanting to fork over $$ for a kit, I splurged on awesome candy and hot-glued graham crackers together instead.  I think they turned out pretty well and the kids had a blast decorating them!

Working hard at eating ... er ... decorating ...

The finished products.  We are so proud!

Cousins <3

Advent Calendar

This year we did a Santa Claus advent calendar where you glue a cotton ball onto his beard every day December 1-24.  Lydia LOVED it.  She was so excited every day to stick a cotton ball onto the paper.  A lot of people do really elaborate countdowns to Christmas with a new activity every day for the family, but, I'm just not that cool.  We do cotton balls, and Lydia still thinks I'm supermom ;)  This is our finished product:

Lights on Christmas Eve

My hubby's family Christmas tradition is to go out for dinner on Christmas Eve.  When the kids were growing up, the family didn't have a lot of money so they very rarely ever went out to dinner, except on Christmas Eve.  I love this tradition and we continue to go out with Ben's parents every year on Christmas Eve.  This year we went out for Chinese food, YUM!  I also thought it would be fun to drive around a few neighborhoods and look at Christmas lights while on our way home.  We drove around for about 30 minutes (which is about how long I can go between bathroom breaks), and then we drove into a neighborhood near our house which has one house at the entrance that goes CRAZY with lights.  They also had Santa there from 4-10pm on Christmas Eve which I thought was pretty cool.  So far I hadn't been able to coax Lydia to go anywhere NEAR Santa Claus and that night was no exception.  Her response when asked if she wanted to go sit on Santa Claus' lap?  "Maybe some other time."  That girl cracks me up.

Christmas Morning Cinnamon Rolls

Being very pregnant, food around Christmas this year was pretty low-key.  One thing I did do was make some overnight cinnamon rolls for breakfast on Christmas morning.  I just happened to have some frosting leftover from sugar cookies so BAM, breakfast was done.  Plus, I knew we would be eating lunch/dinner at my in-laws that day.  Cooking a huge Christmas breakfast and then cooking and/or eating a huge Christmas dinner just seems like too much time in the kitchen and not enough enjoying family.  I'm totally sold on the overnight cinnamon rolls so I'm making this a new Christmas tradition for our family.  THIS is the recipe that I made and it was fantastic!

One More Month ... and other ramblings

We are now officially t-minus one month and COUNTING.  Baby girl is due exactly one month from today! I can't wait to meet this little one, see what she looks like, hold her in my arms, get to know her little personality ... This pregnancy has been so different in a lot of ways, but knowing what to expect has been the biggest difference.  Of course, I sincerely hope this delivery will go differently than Lydia's.  If it does, then it will be a new experience for me.  My sister delivered her last baby without medication after studying the Bradley Method so I've been studying it too.  After my awful experience with the epidural last time, I'd like to go as long as possible without it--hopefully the whole way.  I definitely think that studying natural childbirth has really helped me to understand the process of childbirth a little bit better.  I think that EVERY first time mother, regardless of her feelings toward epidurals should make a serious study of natural childbirth.  If nothing else, you will gain a deeper understand of how your body works to deliver a child.  This is something that I was severely lacking my first time around.  I have a lot of regrets about my naivete towards childbirth and I think I was bullied a little bit by medical staff as a result of my blind faith in them.  If I had known then what I know now I would have done things a little differently (hindsight being what it is ...).  I feel like my "labor and delivery toolbox" is fuller and I'm hopeful that I can achieve the VBAC that I desire!

Down from the soapbox ...

The magic of Christmas has been so very real in our home these past few weeks.  It is amazing having a child who is old enough to really "get it" when it comes to the different elements of Christmas: Mary, Joseph, Jesus, presents, Santa, stockings, the Christmas tree, etc.  Every night before she goes to bed she requests Christmas songs from the Children's Songbook so I sing them to her and then I hear her singing them to herself throughout the day.  We've also been doing an advent calendar where you glue a cotton ball to Santa Claus' bare beard through December 24th.  She's been really thrilled to do that every day and it's so sweet to see her getting excited about Christmas!  I'm personally so excited for Christmas morning I can barely stand it :)

We had our Christmas program at church today and it was really fun because I got to play my flute! It was actually pretty fun.  Believe it or not, I miss playing my flute on a more regular basis.  I'm so grateful that my parents encouraged me to play and I'm grateful that I stuck with it.  Musical training is something that is undervalued in our education system today and it's really too bad.  I feel like my musical talents and training gave me a lot of confidence and a sense of identity as a youth.  It was something I was really good at and I think children need to be given something to do that they can work hard and excel at.

Am I waxing philosophical today or what?

Meanwhile, my hubby is really enjoying his break from teaching seminary ;)  And, he's really enjoying his job.  It's so nice, as a wife, to watch your husband really truly enjoy his work.  I'm so proud of him for having the courage to jump into a new career with both feet.  His company took us (employees and spouses) out to a Brazilian Steakhouse for lunch last week and then to see The Hobbit the next night.  Yes, he works with a bunch of nerds in a small company and it's awesome.  None of these boring holiday work parties for us!  I enjoyed myself at that work "party" more than I've ever enjoyed a work party, and I barely knew most of the people there.  I guess that's saying something.

It's almost the end of the year ... wow, really?  We are still working on getting Lydia's new room ready (talk about last minute??).  She's moving to the old guest bedroom which has been cleared out and will hopefully be painted soon--by Ben, not me as I could paint about 2 inches before becoming too exhausted.  Let me tell you, Ben is THRILLED at the prospect of painting the whole room by himself.  Sense the sarcasm?  Do you wonder why this project is taking so long?  Look no further for your explanation ...  I kid, I kid.  Truthfully, between work and seminary he really hasn't had a whole lot of time for home projects.  The plan is to purchase bunk beds for the girls, but only set one up for Lydia right now.  Then we'll set the other one up in a couple of years when this new little lady is ready for a big girl bed.  Of course, that time is VERY far off ... for now.  Okay, I don't want to think about how fast the time is flying right now.  Why do kids have to grow so fast?  Lydia already speaks in complete sentences.  If it wasn't for her little girl voice, she'd sound like an adult, or at least an older kid.  It's crazy.  I keep telling her she's not allowed to grow any more, but, you know how well that goes over.

I guess I should stop rambling and go hang out with my hubby.  He keeps complaining that I'm "blogging" instead of spending time with him.  I remind him that lately I've only been blogging on a monthly basis and so he really has no reason to complain ...

Thanksgiving 2012

This year for Thanksgiving we went down to visit Ben's sister and her family near Savannah, GA.  It's a 4 1/2 hour drive and Lydia was perfectly content on the drive as long as she was watching her "princess videos".  In fact, she was SO content that she peed in her carseat ... twice.  Needless to say, we arrived damp and smelly and I was a little stressed out, but we had such a great time over the next few days that it was totally worth it!  I got practically zero pictures (blame it on the placenta brain) but I did get one of our excursion to Jesup where Ben's bro-in-law was on call all day Friday.  We gathered at the place where he stays while he's on call and had some awesome pizza and then we went to a drive-in movie. We saw "Rise of the Guardians".  It was pretty cute, but it was cold!  Lydia, unluckily, had also started coming down with a cold so she was getting pretty stuffy nosed on the drive home, but she had a BLAST.  She and her girl cousins hung out in the back of the suburban while the rest of us watched from the other two cars.

It was so weird having all those cousins around over Thanksgiving because Lydia COMPLETELY ignored me and played with them the whole time.  I didn't know what to do with myself because normally I am THE entertainment (until Lydia begs enough for me to put on a movie, that is).  It is going to be so much fun for her to have a sister.  I'm so excited!!! Eight more weeks!

Sewing projects

Ok, so I know Halloween was almost a month ago, but I worked hard on our Halloween costumes this year and I'm going to share them!  Ben was the one who came up with the idea of being "Angry Birds" and I was the one who made all the costumes.  In fact, I had SO much fun sewing that I've been on kind-of a sewing blitz ever since.  But first, the big reveal, our Halloween costumes:

Lydia is the only one who looks truly "angry".  Don't worry, she's not sour like that all the time, or even most of the time.  Only for pictures ...

I've also done some other sewing projects, namely a nursing shawl, and a moby wrap, but I am perhaps the most proud of my pre-Thanksgiving sewing project: a new purse! I had a great time making this and I LOVE LOVE LOVE it.  It is the perfect size and since I only have one coat (black) it matches perfectly with whatever I'm wearing :)  I know, ya'll are so jealous.

New York Trip

A little last minute, I decided to take Lydia to New York in October to spend some time with my parents.  I say last minute, because usually we have these things planned out a few months in advance, but it was only about a month this time.  We were there for 9 days which went by SOOOO fast.  The time is extra precious right now because my dad's cancer is not responding to any treatment right now and the future is very uncertain.

Still a bit of fall color left in places

Reading books with (mommy's cousin) Janelle and Lydia's second cousin Capri

Lydia and Capri had so much fun playing together!

Photo shoot with Lydia and mommy at the park

I ended up making my own birthday cake because my mom was working all day and I thought she wouldn't have time.  Little did I know how disappointed she would be that she didn't get to do it herself! Her contribution: The Halloween sprinkles on top of the cake.  My brother declared it was the best cake he'd ever eaten.  (The secret is the mayonnaise, yogurt and applesauce--Makes it super moist ;)

Can you see everyone behind me patiently waiting for cake?

Went out to dinner for my actual birthday to the fabulous Pita Gourmet in Cortland.

I would definitely go back here.  Delicious!

We tried the hummus appetizer for dessert with the flatbread.  Delish!!

My mom and dad :)

I had the gyro for dinner.  Sooooo good :)

Me and my girl

This is where Lydia spent a good deal of her time in NY--on Grandpa's lap--either watching TV or having Grandpa read books to her.  So sweet.

Lydia really enjoyed walking on Grandma's treadmill in her spare time.

The last day in NY, before my mom drove us to the airport, we went up to Skaneateles for lunch at the Sherwood Inn (tradition), dessert at La Patisserie, and a quick walk down the pier.  

There were about a billion seagulls and they got really upset and flew away as you approached them.  We had a blast chasing them off both on the way down and back on the pier.

Lydia and I with Skaneateles Lake in the background :)

Lydia had a really great time and I'm so glad that she got to spend some time with Grandma and Grandpa Owens.  I'm so grateful for my parents and for the way that they raised me.  I only hope I can be half as good at parenting my children!